Blog Archives

Palliative Care

6/28/2015

This post is to bring attention to Palliative care, and the many aspects of it.

In this video, what strikes me is the tremendous amount of dedication, devotion, and LOVE that is evident on the faces of every nurse, and especially the Director narrating the video.

Butterfly Home opened in April 2010 to care for any child with a life expectancy of less than 6 months. Thanks to our supporters, we have now cared for 56 children! 30 received loving end of life care, 6 children were adopted, 3 were matched with other long term care facilities and 1 is in foster care. We currently look after 15 children. Come to our website to find out more about what we do and how you can help us: http://www.butterflych.org/

Snapshots of Faith: Hypocrites

6/28/2015

Jesus had much to say concerning hypocrites, and never shied away from speaking directly to them; his observations of them could singe the hair off your head.

A complete study can be found in these verses:

Mat 6:2, 6:5, 6:16, 15:7, 16:3, 22:18, 23:14-15, 23:25, 23:27, 23:29, 24:51, Mar 7:6, Lu 11:44, Lu 12:56

These are only a few examples:

Mat 6:2 Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

Mat 22:15 Then went the Pharisees, and took counsel how they might entangle him in his talk.

Mat 22:16 And they sent out unto him their disciples with the Herodians, saying, Master, we know that thou art true, and teachest the way of God in truth, neither carest thou for any man: for thou regardest not the person of men.

Mat 22:17 Tell us therefore, What thinkest thou? Is it lawful to give tribute unto Caesar, or not?

Mat 22:18 But Jesus perceived their wickedness, and said, Why tempt ye me, ye hypocrites?

Mat 23:13 But woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye shut up the kingdom of heaven against men: for ye neither go in yourselves, neither suffer ye them that are entering to go in.

When we read these texts, we run up against a problem; we find we are seeing ourselves in some of them.

When I read the bible, not only am I reading it; it is reading me. (Which is why so many people who call themselves Christian do not read it, go to church without it, and the world hates it)

Now, over the years as a Christian and a minister; I’ve observed that there are different kinds of hypocrites:

1. There are differing degrees of hypocrisy, that become evident by conduct, and personal character.

In God’s eyes, there is no one who is perfect and without sin; But God alone.

Rom 3:10 As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:

Rom 3:11 There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God.

Rom 3:12 They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.

2. There are those who repent, and find the grace, forgiveness, and restoration that Christ can give if we ask Him for it; and there are those who choose to remain in their blindness. We are always given free choice.

People will sin, I do. But if you desire to walk with God, you will not have a pattern of sin. When the Lord convicts you that you are doing something that‘s not right; you will desire to agree with Him, and repent. But those who are living in the world, who deny God any access to them, and live for this world’s pleasures will not allow the word of God to correct them. We are seeing the evidence of a world growing increasingly hostile to any of God’s laws or standards of right and wrong; and seeing the consequences of it in every facet of life. Paul’s description in Romans fits our world today:

Rom 3:18 There is no fear of God before their eyes.

3. There are some who seem to be hypocrites, who are labeled as such, but by those who do not know all the facts about a person, and are being falsely accused.

One of the greatest grievances I have in the realm of ministry today is the humongous amount of gossip and slander that goes on within it’s ranks. It is rampant in ministry today; and the higher you go, the worse it is. The mega-ministries are some of the greatest culprits.

For anyone living in a community; this is the same, which is why I refuse to listen to any local “we need to pray for so and so”. I go directly to them if it is any concern to me personally, or I just lift them once up to God and pray earnestly for them one time; and then leave them in the hands of the Lord. He is well able to undertake for any situation that person is in.

There is a vast difference between the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and mans condemnation.

When I am doing a study in scripture, and the verses are revealing to me a sin I’ve allowed to creep in to my life, I know it is for my own good. God wants only the best for us, and cares for us deeply.

Heb 12:5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:

Heb 12:6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

Heb 12:7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

Heb 12:8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

Heb 12:9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

Heb 12:10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.

Heb 12:11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

Heb 12:12 Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;

Heb 12:13 And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.

As the days grow darker in this world, to those who love God; allow the word of God guide you, allow it to “read” you. In the end, it will mold you and make you into someone Paul describes in Timothy:

2Ti 2:15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

Lorna Couillard

Snapshots of Faith: He Set His Face

6/18/2015

Luk 9:51 And it came to pass, when the time was come that he should be received up, he stedfastly set his face to go to Jerusalem,

Luk 9:52 And sent messengers before his face: and they went, and entered into a village of the Samaritans, to make ready for him.

Luk 9:53 And they did not receive him, because his face was as though he would go to Jerusalem.

These are very important verses concerning the last few days before Jesus was to be taken, and crucified. He had spent many days speaking to the disciples, and warning them of the events to come; but their ears were “hard” and their eyes blinded, they would not truly understand until after his death and resurrection.

What can be gleaned from these passages? Let’s take a look:

Luke 9:51-52

When the days were well-nigh come. The time of his suffering was not far away. He was about to leave Galilee.

He stedfastly set his face to go to Jerusalem. Knowing what he should suffer there. Just when this was we are not told.

Sent messengers. To secure a stopping place for himself and disciples on their journey.

Went into a village of the Samaritans. To go from Galilee to Jerusalem "he must needs go through Samaria," unless he went down on the east of the Jordan. The Samaritans were hereditary enemies of the Jews, and the two peoples had no intercourse.

Luk 9:53 And they did not receive him, because his face was as though he would go to Jerusalem.

Luk 9:54 And when his disciples James and John saw this, they said, Lord, wilt thou that we command fire to come down from heaven, and consume them, even as Elias did?

They did not receive him. Because he was evidently journeying to Jerusalem. This stirred up their bigotry. They not only refused Jesus as a prophet, but violated the sacred duties of hospitality. The refusal to receive a religious teacher was considered a rejection of his claims.

Wilt thou that we command fire? These gentle apostles were filled with wrath at the insult to the Master. Their zeal for the Lord led them into a sanguinary feeling that was sinful. Often, religious zeal has led men to sinful acts and a persecuting spirit.

But, the Lord’s response to them was remarkable:

Luk 9:55 But he turned, and rebuked them, and said, Ye know not what manner of spirit ye are of.

Luk 9:56 For the Son of man is not come to destroy men's lives, but to save them. And they went to another village.

What was he teaching them?

He rebuked them. Their spirit was not his. He quietly left the inhospitable village and went elsewhere. He was not a destroyer, but a Savior. Zeal for Christ is no excuse for fanaticism.

Even in his last hours, he spent every opportunity to leave lasting imprints on their minds and spirits; preparing them for the times when they would face their own persecutions and rejections. He showed them by example how to respond to a world that would hate them, as it did Him.

Lorna Couillard
2014

The American Ass. for Caregiver Education

6/18/2015

The focus this week is on The American Association for Caregiver Education.

I’ve spent some time studying this site, and find it has many very valuable resources, and support for the caregiver. I think if you visit their website you will be sure to find something that can assist you. A short excerpt from their site reads:

“The American Association for Caregiver Education (AACE) was founded in 1998 by a group of social service and healthcare professionals knowledgeable in all aspects of the family caregiver experience. They recognized that family caregiving could occur at any time and in any combination of people, regardless of age, gender, relationship, or illness. They also understood that family caregiving was 15% clinical and 85% practical problem solving.”

“In response to this critical need, AACE assembled a more diverse team of family caregiver experts whose formal training including elder and disability issues, special needs, family law, software technology, longevity and chronic need financial planning, and educational development.”

Their site is:

American Association for Caregiver Education, Inc.

If you or someone you know is a caregiver, and in need of resources, education, and direction; you may find this website helpful.

Lorna Couillard

The Difficult Side of Dependency

6/12/2015

This week I would like to talk a little bit about control issues in care-giving. Control is probably one of the most important things our loved one can lose. The loss of being able to do the simplest of things, such as drive themselves to the store, the doctor, clean their own house, or even the ability to take are of their own personal needs, because of illness or disabilities. When physical, or emotional challenges hamper our ability to maintain control in our lives, it can be a very disheartening situation for both caregiver and care receiver. When a few days start to stretch into weeks, and then months of being disabled; it can cause a scope of emotions from depression to outright anger. Without meaning to, they can hurt other’s around them, especially those who care for them the most.

We all adapt and alter priorities in our lives as circumstances bring about changes that affect the way in which we are able to manage our activities of daily living. Have you ever been ill, or laid up for even a brief time? How frustrating was it for you to have to wait for someone else to take you to the store, or a doctor’s appointment, or even have a meal? It is not pleasant. We can get very frustrated when our lives are disrupted for even a few days. Imagine then how you would feel if these limitations that prevent you from doing what you want when you want it were a permanent part of your life. Realizing this, and taking this into account when stressful things occur can help ease our own hurt feelings, and not take the emotions, and frustrations personally. It’s not excusing the behavior, but using compassion and wisdom in handling the problem, so it doesn’t escalate into permanent damage to the relationship.

When there is little opportunity to assert your own control, even what might seem to be a small thing to us, can become a very important issue to our loved one. Open and honest communication between you is very important. Let the loved one express their frustration, their sorrows, and be simply the “listener”. It’s not necessary to try to have any answers, or try to “fix” them. They need to know someone cares, your listening ear, and caring heart will go a long way in bringing peace, and a positive change into the atmosphere. Once they have let out what is bothering them, and allowed to do so without fear of retaliation, you will many times find they will come to accept their limitations, and be willing to receive the help they need with a better attitude. Limitations need to be set, but that can be done with tact. When you begin to sense some peace coming into the situation; try to change the subject, and some humor into the conversation. By letting each other know how you are feeling, you may find the control issues become less important.

Try to make it your goal to spend each day as if it is the last, because it may be. It will serve to help you through the days ahead when your loved one is no longer with you.

Snapshots of Faith: Pastoral Candidates

6/12/2015

A pastoral search committee is interviewing pastoral candidates:

Adam: Good man but problems with his wife. Also one reference told of how his wife and he enjoy walking nude in the woods.

Noah: Former pastorate of 120 years with no converts. Prone to unrealistic building projects.

Abraham: Though the references reported wife-swapping, the facts seem to show he never slept with another man’s wife, but did offer to share his own wife with another man.

Joseph: A big thinker, but a braggart, believes in dream-interpreting, and has a prison record.

Moses: A modest and meek man, but poor communicator, even stuttering at times. Sometimes blows his stack and acts rashly. Some say he left an earlier church over a murder charge.

David: The most promising leader of all until we discovered the affair he had with his neighbor’s wife.

Solomon: Great preacher but our parsonage would never hold all those wives.

Elijah: Prone to depression-collapses under pressure.

Elisha: Reported to have lived with a single widow while at his former church.

Hosea: A tender and loving pastor but our people could never handle his wife’s occupation.

Deborah: Female.

Jeremiah: Emotionally unstable, alarmist, negative, always lamenting things, and reported to have taken a long trip to bury his underwear on the bank of foreign river.

Isaiah: On the fringe? Claims to have seen angels in church. Has trouble with his language.

Jonah: Refused God’s call into ministry until he was forced to obey by getting swallowed up by a great fish. He told us the fish later spit him out on the shore near here. We hung up.

Amos: Too backward and unpolished. With some seminary training he might have promise, but has a hang-up against wealthy people. Might fit in better in a poor congregation.

John: Says he is a Baptist, but definitely doesn’t dress like one. Has slept in the outdoors for months on end, has a weird diet, and provokes denominational leaders.

Peter: Too blue collar. Has a bad temper—even has been known to curse. Had a big run-in with Paul in Antioch. Aggressive, but a loose cannon.

Paul: Powerful CEO type leader and fascinating preacher. However, short on tact, unforgiving with younger ministers, harsh and has been known to preach all night.

Timothy: Too young.

Jesus: Has had popular times, but once when his church grew to 5000 he managed to offend them all and this church dwindled down to twelve people. Seldom stays in one place very long. And, of course, he’s single.

Judas: His references are solid. A steady plodder. Conservative. Good connections. Knows how to handle money. We’re inviting him to preach this Sunday. Possibilities here.

The Lost Skill: Listening

6/3/2015

This is the heartbeat of pastoral visitation and the radar that guides us into the empathic understanding of the patient’s experiences. Intuition alone cannot substitute for listening. Disciplined effort is required to share the meaning of other’s experience. Before visiting the patient, pray for the strength to listen in order that the grace and love of God may be manifest in conversation.

Listening Basics

God listens to all of us. We should listen to each other.
Most people believe they listen better than they actually do.

Each patient is unique. Do not assume to know the patient’s values, needs, concerns, and attitudes without careful listening.

Listening involves the whole body. Behaviors that can help patients know our interest in their feelings are called attending behaviors. They include (1) taking a comfortable position that allows us to make easy eye contact; (2) maintaining an alert posture such as leaning slightly forward; (3) maintaining a relaxed demeanor. Avoid standing with arms folded (nonverbal statement suggesting a barrier).

Listening involves all the senses. Observe the patient’s nonverbal clues. Are the patient’s physical behaviors (facial expressions, fidgeting with his hands) congruent with verbal messages? Nonverbal clues are indicative of the patient’s feeling and thinking.

Listening for the tone of voice as well as the content of the patient’s statement.
Resonate with the patient’s communication. Do not be thinking of the next response to the patient while he or she is talking.

Listening is interactive. Communication is completed, and the patient is affirmed when we verbally follow up the patient’s conversation. Respond with restatement of the patient’s statement that seems parallel in meaning. Example:

Patient: "God must be mad at me. I’ve had so many problems with my health, just when I was planning to retire."

Visitor: "After experiencing so much hardship, you’re wondering if God is being fair."
Be alert to the meaning of the patient’s disclosures, rather than the facts. As a rule, do not probe for facts. Allow the patient to reveal what is important by responding to his or her feelings.

Responses the visitor might employ combine a feeling word gleaned from the patient’s message with the context of the feeling. Examples:

"So, you feel frustrated because of this confinement."

"I’m sensing how frustrating this illness has become."

Listening may require more than one visit. Our willingness to listen non-judgmentally over time can free the patient to risk genuine feeling without fear of ridicule or rejection.

Snapshots of Faith: Focus

6/3/2015

I get up early each morning, it’s the quietest time of the day. I turned on the TV, it was on a station I don’t usually listen to, and a woman minister was talking. After listening about 5 minutes, it was clear it was another pep rally. She was emphasizing once again that “As women, we need to come to the place that we can do whatever we believe God has called us to do”, and we need to get a “can do” mentality, turn the world upside down, and achieve great things for God. When it comes right down to it, it really is all about them, not God.

Everyone has to make up their own minds what is really important to them in life, and why.

Following the Lord, and being obedient to his will may bring recognition, and prominence, but not necessarily. It may bring you much adversity, and loss of the things of this world. No one likes to hear this, but it is the truth.

Paul spoke of it:

Php 3:7 But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.

Php 3:8 Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,

What did Paul consider the most important thing in life? The next verses answer that question:

Php 3:9 And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:

Php 3:10 That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death;

There is no mention in Paul’s statement of attaining prestige, a great following of people, or doing great deeds. His focus was on drawing close to Jesus, and knowing Him, in all his facets; which will take an eternity to do.

Lastly the greatest goal Paul speaks of is of utmost importance: Is there anything more important than being found worthy to share in the resurrection of the dead to eternal life with Christ in glory?

Php 3:11 If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead.

I know of no greater goal in this life, or the next.