From the early 1979, to 2005 I worked numerous jobs in the area of senior care, and took care of my mother for many of those years, also at the same time. Along with this Lynn dealt with heart problems from 1982, till his death in 2004, there were many issues that came with helping him, and living with someone with serious heart problems-but God was there through it all, and I saw His hand in many of the things he went through. Much of my life has been involved with people with serious health problems, and the aged. It has molded me into what I am today-and how I look at life.
I see through eyes that have taken care of many in various conditions of health issues, and coping with it, and finding joy, and the strength to go on, and keep facing life, and doing it with a sense of responsibility. Lynn and I both took care of our parents till they died, and worked sometimes 2 jobs to maintain ourselves, and still run our home businesses; Lynn raised cattle, I raised Arabian horses, and showed them. We were never bored. During this period I was working caring for seniors nights and weekends, and a full time day job at a publishing company, until 1994, when the company moved out of state.
During the years of taking care for mother, diabetes took a toll on her, and in 1997, cervical cancer and surgery. At this time, I had taken a test and passed it, to enter nursing school, I planned to start that fall. The very next day, after receiving the letter of the schedule to start, my brother called and told me of mother having cancer, and they needed me to come to New York, and be with her-I was the only one who knew what to do for her. I had to make a decision to either go to my mother, or enter nursing school. I prayed about it, and knew I had to go to be with my mother. I closed the door to becoming a nurse, and surrendered to what I believed God wanted. Shortly after this, Lynn had another minor heart attack, and had to retire permanently from his job. Life at this point, was a roller coaster. I was still working caring for seniors in home health care.
In 1999, she had to have part of her foot amputated. Then, another blow- a fall in 2004 that broke her left hip. Lynn had died the same year, in July 11, 2004-another heart attack at home, in my arms. At this time, life was undefinable, I functioned on auto-pilot, and numb.
From then on, she was wheelchair bound, and I could no longer care for her at home, because the infection in her feet needed daily care I could not give. I brought her to the house several times a week, and had her spend the day with me, until her death. The last picture below shows her with my brother, coming for the day with us.
I've had it said to me that I don't smile enough. There's reasons for that, that I won't go into. Most do not care to hear what the reasons are. I get up and keep going with the strength God gives, and am thankful to be able to continue to maintain my own life. God has been very good to me, better than I deserve. But, a smile on my face, is the least of my concerns. I've come to accept that I do not fit in with most social activities or events, and don't attempt to fit in. I haven't lived a life, that many would want to know of or understand. Most of the things I see people doing, and spending their time and money on, is senseless to me.