The people who come into our lives and those we allow to influence us have a great deal to do with the pathways of sorrow and heartaches we end up with. As an eleven year old girl I became involved in a friendship in school with a girl about my own age, and her mother. I would go to her house often to spend time with her, and found her mother was very involved in the occult, sorcery, witchcraft, Ouija boards and séances. I was more than willing to find out as much as I could, and wanted to participate. It proved to be the beginnings of many demonic experiences, that put me into deep bondage. This, along with the drinking I was involved in, went on into my twenties, and by that time, it had almost destroyed me.
In my sixteenth year, on one occasion, this girls mother brought a black man home with her who was from Haiti. He said he was a witchdoctor, and asked if I wanted to become a satanic priestess. If I did, he would have to hypnotize me, and bring me into submission to the realm of the spirits, and then I would be able to work with them, and would be given power to work satanic spells, curses, and other forms of dark arts. He spent a great deal of time explaining what was going to happen, and why. I agreed.
All night long, and into the early morning, he tried to hypnotize me, but could not. His voice changed about 4 times, sometimes from a deep guttural, to sensual female voice, all the while speaking things into me as he stared into my eyes. I sat there waiting for something to happen; and did feel a Presence, but somehow it did not seem evil; but indeed powerful.
Then dawn started to break, and I finally became exasperated and said; “I don’t believe you can do anything, I want to go home now.” He looked at me in anger and said “I don’t know what power you have to block this, but whatever it is; the spirits cannot get through to you.” I had no idea what he was talking about; but after I was saved, started studying the scriptures and praying, the Holy Spirit spoke to my spirit clearly that I was divinely protected that night. I later learned that this man had the power to cast spells and had placed curses on others who had refused him, and died.
Even then, in the darkest moments of my life; Gods’ mercy was upon me. I’ve lived through car wrecks, robbed 3 times, once at gunpoint while working as a night store manager, being abandoned many times by a husband who finally left permanently by the time I was 21, and much more, that would take too long to recount. When you live in darkness, and mess with the works of darkness, as the bible says, "the wages of sin is death."
I remarried at 23 in 1976, but many hardships came our way. Neither one of us were innocent perfect people. But we loved each other and worked through our problems.
In the spring of 1977, my mother was told by the doctor's that my father's lung cancer had come back, and that it was terminal. Five years earlier, he was first diagnosed with cancer, and had to have his left lung removed. A lifetime of smoking had taken it's toll on his body. On Christmas day of 1977, Dad died, at home with his family at his side.
Three months' later, on the way to work one morning; I was almost hit by a livestock truck coming at me on my side of the road. Why I was not hit is still a mystery to me; because I had closed my eyes, slammed on the brakes, and waited for the truck to hit me head on. After several seconds, and feeling nothing, I opened my eyes, looked into the rearview mirror, to see the truck behind me still on my side of the road, and traveling fast down the highway. This was another divine intervention from God, saving my life from certain disaster.
Somehow I made it to work, but went upstairs to the supervisors office; told him what had happened, and said "I'm going home, I can't stay here." He nodded to me, saying nothing, he could tell it would be better to keep quiet.
I made it home, collapsed into a chair by the glass doors that looked out the front of the house and stayed there the rest of the day. I had come to the end of myself.
A book was on the stand next to the chair given to me by one of my sisters. I began to read it. It spoke of the life and ministry of Jesus Christ, and his purpose for coming into the world.
Then, as I continued to read, I began to sense a Presence with me in my house. It was unmistakable, I knew I was not alone. For the first time in my life; I prayed "Lord, if this is you, and if this book is telling the truth, will you forgive me, and come into my life and help me. I know I've done so many things wrong, but if you can forgive me, please let me know."
Jesus answered that simple prayer, and came into my life, saved me, delivered me right then of alcoholism, and forgave my sins.
From the very first morning I woke up after my salvation, I had an overpowering urge to read the bible. That first morning, I hurried to get my housework done, and took the small black bible I had kept on my shelf (but rarely read), and now sat in my recliner and started from the beginning; and just kept reading. I couldn’t stop. I was like a starving child, and the more I read the more I wanted. I would stop at times, and just look out the window and talk to God about what I’d just read; and ask Him questions. As I kept reading, my questions would be answered. I learned His guidance, wisdom, and most importantly; His great heart of love. My heart broke and I wept, as I read of the accounts of His people disobeying Him over and over again, and His great mercy, and forgiveness to them every time they turned back to Him. I learned that He has not changed, He is the very same today. And I became greatly aware of His tremendous love for me; and I found it incredible, and almost impossible to believe. I knew myself, and the sins I had committed very well. There were many days of long sessions alone with God, and allowing Him to heal my soul, and spirit as I sat there and devoured His word, and allowed it to nourish my soul to wholeness.
One day, about 2 weeks after my salvation, as I was walking from the kitchen to the living room, His presence was very heavy in my house; and then I heard a strong, but gentle voice within my spirit say to me “There are occult books on your shelves, and music you own that you need to destroy. They are an abomination to Me.” I stood there a moment, then said “Show me in Your word that this is so. If you do, I will get rid of them.” Immediately I heard “Go to Deuteronomy ch. 18, and then go to the gospels and read what My Son says about it.” I spent the next several hours pouring over every scripture I could find about witchcraft, sorcery, occult, and idolatry. And, sure enough when I went to Deut. I found these verses:
De 18:9-13 When thou art come into the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee, thou shalt not learn to do after the abominations of those nations. There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch, Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer. For all that do these things are an abomination unto the LORD: and because of these abominations the LORD thy God doth drive them out from before thee. Thou shalt be perfect with the LORD thy God.
From this, I went on to read all that Jesus spoke of in the gospels concerning obedience, of demonic bondage, and how to be set free. He did not mince words, and he was not hard to understand. Ultimately you are only serving one master, and our life choices reveal who that master is.
This was the first of many instances of the Lord teaching me to hear the "still small voice" of the Holy Spirit, which guides and directs those who are His. The bible, and the book of Acts has accounts of the Lord speaking to His people, guiding them specifically. He still does today, but it is very important to "test the spirits", and stand on the word of God to know if what we are hearing in our spirits is truly the Lord's, or a deceptive spirit.
I realized I had a choice to make, and the Lord was making it clear I had to make up my mind if I was going to obey Him, or not. The battle in my spirit was terrible. I had spent many years accumulating the books that filled my shelves, and I had tremendous amounts of music that I liked, and the struggle to obey was very real. But, I also knew if I did not obey; according to the scriptures; I would remain in bondage to the demonic realm; and I knew what that meant. God was not making a deal with me. He wanted me to make up my mind who I was going to surrender to, and was making me realize the eternal consequences of that decision. He wanted me to once and for all close the door of my heart, soul, and life completely from all of the works of satan, and darkness. Christ wanted all of me, and wanted to restore what the devil had destroyed in me.
My hands and forehead were sweating from the battle going on in my heart. Thoughts went through my mind about how much money I had spent on collecting these things, how much “knowledge” was in them, the rock music I enjoyed very much, and the money spent on them. But I got up, went to the bookshelf, and started taking them to the woodstove. It was still burning with a bed of coals. I opened the side door, and started tossing them into it; one by one. It took several hours to destroy them all. Then, as I turned to the stereo system in our living room, I took the rock music I knew had to go, crushed them with my feet, and they also went into the fire.
After this, I went to my knees and prayed. “Father, I renounce all demonic involvement, please forgive me for the sins I’ve committed in doing these ungodly things. Forgive me for the people I’ve hurt, and influenced to do these evil things, please send angels to them, and help bring them out of bondage, as You are me right now. Help me to live in a way that brings honor to you, and help me to have the strength to resist the temptations to go back to these things.”
I looked at the clock, it was late in the afternoon. My daughter opened the kitchen door, coming home from school. It took all day, but God got the victory, I was free. I was now the same as the woman caught in adultery, whom Jesus forgave; now my heart knew that for me, I was to “go, and sin no more.”
From then on, it has been a journey of faith, and the desire to obey Him; not out of obligation, but out of love. How can I not obey, when He has given His very life for my ransom? Jesus did all He could do to bring us freedom, and eternal life when He died on that cross; and rose again. Whatever we give up in this life is nothing compared to what we have waiting for us when we see Him face to face.
The bottom line for staying free; read the word of God, and obey it. John 14:15, 15:10, Romans 2:8, 6:12, 6:16, 1Peter 4:17
As long as we live in this world, we will make mistakes, will fail at times and will sin; but if we do, thank God if we confess our sin, and ask for forgiveness, and ask for help to turn from it, God is faithful. His word tells us:
1jo 1:8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 1jo 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
If you’ve truly repented from the past sins of your life; your heart attitude will change; you no longer want to sin. You may stumble, but your desire will be to follow God, and walk in His ways.
Now, how about you, are you doing anything that is blocking the blessings of God in your life. If your doing something that is openly disobeying His word, if you are dishonoring Him by your actions, you are blocking God‘s fulfillment for your life. You may think reading the daily horoscope is harmless, that watching demonic movies, and videos are just a game, that what you listen to and feed your mind and spirit with is not important. That’s just what the devil wants you to think. He is a liar. Do not allow him to keep you deceived.
If we open the door to demonic activity in our lives, we reap the consequences. Every year, during the Halloween season, satanic rituals involving the most horrendous activities are held all over the world. People, babies, and animals are killed, used in their evil rituals; as sacrifices to the devil. Evil begets evil, if you call yourself a Christian, believe me; Satan knows the difference. What we say with our mouths must match what we do, or we deceive ourselves. But, we neither deceive God, or the devil. Scripture tells us to turn from darkness, and walk in the light of the gospel.
If you have read this, and have been involved in any satanic practices, quija boards, seances, tarot cards, tea reading, wicca, satan worship, you will realize you are living in darkness, and are lost. Jesus loves you, and came to this earth, suffered and died on the cross, and rose again; to save you from your sins. He can break the shackles from you, as he did for me.
I can say with full assurance that you will find the Savior, Jesus Christ; more than ready to pick you up, embrace you, and send you on in life cleansed and a “new creature”. One fit for the Master’s service. His message to anyone who may read this is, “Come, and lay down your burdens at My feet, and I will restore you; and make you whole.” Simply come to Him as you are, confess your sins to Him and ask Him to come into your heart and life, and wash you clean, and start a new life with Him. Find a church or fellowship where the bible is taught without compromise.
He promises to never leave us or forsake us, and will help us live for Him, till we meet Him in heaven, when we leave this world. I hope to meet you there one day.
Joh 10:9 I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture.
Joh 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
Joh 10:11 I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.